STILL in Limbo

Wow, when my guy said he wanted a "break" I didn't know how long it would be ... but he said it the night of April 30th and today is what? May 9th??? We still don't have any resolution ... granted it's partially my fault. Yes ... I'm admitting that it's my fault ... I felt like he said we were on a break, none of which was outlined. I didn't know what the "break" meant ... were we still together? Were we not? I went out to a club and met a guy who made me feel pretty despite how sad and ugly I felt. I wasn't flirting with him in front of my guy to make him jealous ... I was just being "friendly" although that is more than not misconstrued as "flirting". In any case, at the end of the night when my guy asked me whether or not I gave him my number, I told a small, white lie ... I said that i gave him a fake number. THen on sunday while I was headed out to the park to walk my dogs he happened to call and say that he was in the area. I told him I'd be at the park and that he was welcome to come walk the dogs with me for a little while if he wanted ... but it was totally informal ... not a date or anything.
Come monday my guy pulls me aside into the breakroom and tells me he wants to get back together and I was sooooo happy but I felt like it was important for me to tell him the truth and so I told him that I went out with this guy but nothing happened. Nothing really did happen and nothing would have because I'm totally hung up on my guy! I haven't really seen him all week and I'm dying ... I miss him so much. It's ridiculous. Anyways, after I tell him this piece of information, he gets all pissy and walks away! Now we're back at square one and he doesn't know if he needs to do this by himself ... he feels like that was a sign from GOD slapping him in his face saying that he doesn't need to be in a relationship ... but I think that a relationship can ONLY strengthen you if you both want to be in it and support eachother. I definitely support what he wants to do with his life, give it direction and I DEFINITELY support him getting his walk with Christ right. I don't support him stringing me along like this while he takes his time deciding. I've decided though after that random meeting with the stranger that I am definitely NOT ready to date anyone else because I don't want to date anyone else except my guy. I miss our Trader Joe's runs and our cooking together and experimenting with recipes, playing XBOX together and just hanging out. I felt so secure when I was with him and now ... I feel kind of lost. I've been trying to get my mind off of him and what's been going on by hanging out with Robert and friends but it always just kinda wanders back at the end of the night when I'm alone again ... thankfully I have the pups to keep me company. God knows I need their support as well. They really are my angels from heaven ... sent to keep me in good spirits. I love my pups so much, they irritate me tremendously sometimes but I love them more than anything else! They're the only 2 boys I can really count on that will NEVER leave me and will love me unconditionally. Well, another day ... I gotta get ready to go to work ... it's dreary outside and I missed my morning workout ... my back feels a little irritated and inflammed ... I'm not trying to aggravate it more. Maybe i'll make it to the gym during lunch or something ... I guess we'll see. Ciao for now!