Uh oh ladies! There's a new diet fad out there and it's called (drum roll please!) THE PINK PATCH!!!! I've tried;
1) The Lemonade Diet; it slows down your metabolism and it's a liquid diet, which means no food = starvation = BAD IDEA! But it makes a great tasting lemonade! *^_~* (wink!)
2) The Wu-Yi (Oolong) Slimming Tea Diet; this gives you the RUNS! Also, because you get the runs you drop water weight (which means you lose weight instantly) but it does come back and your system doesn't have time to absorb the nutrients b/c it's literally running right through you = loss of nutrients = BAD IDEA! However, you should drink Oolong (aka - Wu-Yi, they are one in the same do NOT be fooled into paying a higher price for "Wu-Yi" tea ladies & gents ... it's the same thing!) for the natural health benefits; shinier hair, better skin, aids in digestion, naturally raises metabolism, etc. Just don't drink the Oolong "SLIMMING" tea... just regular Oolong (or any tea for that matter) will give you the added health benefits!
So now there's this new Pink Patch that you apparently apply like a smoking patch or any other patch and it's supposed to help you lose weight. It's main ingredient is Fucus Vesiculosus which is a seaweed that occurs in the Baltic and North Seas which has natural obesity battling and metabolism increasing properties. It is a main staple in many asian cultures, especially within Japanese society (and we all know how SLIM they are!). So they're giving out FREE samples on the website. If you guys want a sample click on the title of this blog or click HERE and it should direct you to their website where you can try a free sample of your own or you can wait and see what happens to me first before you decide whether or not you want to try this product. I'll be ordering a free sample today and when I get it, I will chronicle what happens to me while I'm on the product, if anything at all.
Additionally, I'm considering starting a linked animal blog ... I may be calling it the "NY Dog Blog", with this blog. I'm a HUGE animal advocate and regularly run across rescues pups who need to find loving, forever homes. So hopefully, I'll be able to blog about animal rights movements and any events that may be occuring for those of you who want to know about things of that nature. But i'll keep ya'll posted ... see ya'round!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Heath Death
Heath Ledger's what?! For those of you who don't know, click on the title of this post and it will take you to the newsweek article. Frankly, I'm shocked ... he was too young ... he was only 28, which is only a year older than me! How frightening is that?! Well apparently his last 2 roles that he recently completed, one in the upcoming movie "Dark Knight" where he plays the Joker (this may be his final finished piece, btw, I guess I'll be heading to the theaters to watch this as a final salute to a young and talented actor) apparently took it's toll on him. He's been known for taking on more serious roles such as Ennis Del Mar in the movie Brokeback Mountain. According to the news and insiders, the last few roles bothered him so much (b/c the character parts were so dark in nature and as an actor you have to get into the role to really be able to portray it properly, I know as a fellow actor) that he was only getting 2 hours of sleep per night. He was getting so little sleep that he had to turn to sleeping aides (like ambien) which apparently only helped him sleep an hour! If any of you guys have ever taken an ambien you know that stuff knocks you OUT! It's crazy ... he has a 2 year old daughter named Matilda with actress Michelle Williams as well. They lived in the brooklyn neighborhood known as Boerum Hill. I've been there a couple of times myself; my sister lives in Brooklyn Heights which is a short 10-15 minute walk from Boerum Hill and I even got to see the house in which the two lived prior to their split up. Michelle stayed in the house but Heath moved out to an apartment in Soho on Broome St (right above the Nanette Lepore store, FYI). So sad, so sad ... it's such a waste of talent ... but everything happens for a reason right? There is a lot of speculation though that he may have accidentally overdosed on anti-anxiety, antihistamine and sleeping pills. It's a real shame, he was such a talented actor and he was really good looking too (it never hurt him I'm sure!). Oh well... I just wanted to get that off my chest b/c it really bothered me to see someone like him, who seemed like he had it all together (he was reportedly seeing Mary-Kate Olsen; his masseuse called Mary-Kate twice before she dialed 911 ... must be really hard for MK to get that sort of news) and he seemed like he was settling down from his hard partying ways (especially after the arrival of his daughter, Matilda). He was being taken seriously as an actor, which is something he always wanted, and he just wasn't a star wreck a la Britney Spears. He mostly just kept out of the limelight. I'm constantly reminded that you just never know what's going on with someone else's life no matter how put together or outta control they may appear to be. You shouldn't judge people by their covers coz the text/story on the inside might be COMPLETELY different. Well, God speed Heath!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Big, Big, Big! [POEM]
Over the top, overly dressed,
It's so big, it's all over my head,
Big boobs, big boots, big hair all in the air,
Big hotel with big shows, big spiraling stairs,
Big fountains, big buffets, please bring a big appetite,
Big costumes, big bets going way late into the night,
Big, Big, Big is all that can be said,
Big, Big, Big is what this city is,
Big makeup on that big stage with big heels just for you,
Big sweeping muscle-clad men, opening big doors for you,
Big thunder from down under and Big Jubilee,
Big water dances and Big palaces for you to see,
Big tanks with Big sharks and Big drinks to adore,
Big magic shows with Big tigers, the crowds cry, "more!"
Big is what you want here, big is what we have,
Big is desired here and big you shall have,
Big, Big, Big is all that we'll say,
Big, Big, Big is what the city will feign.
It's so big, it's all over my head,
Big boobs, big boots, big hair all in the air,
Big hotel with big shows, big spiraling stairs,
Big fountains, big buffets, please bring a big appetite,
Big costumes, big bets going way late into the night,
Big, Big, Big is all that can be said,
Big, Big, Big is what this city is,
Big makeup on that big stage with big heels just for you,
Big sweeping muscle-clad men, opening big doors for you,
Big thunder from down under and Big Jubilee,
Big water dances and Big palaces for you to see,
Big tanks with Big sharks and Big drinks to adore,
Big magic shows with Big tigers, the crowds cry, "more!"
Big is what you want here, big is what we have,
Big is desired here and big you shall have,
Big, Big, Big is all that we'll say,
Big, Big, Big is what the city will feign.
Lost Vegas
Yo! So i'm back from sin city aka Las Vegas. Goodness ... can I just point out how "over-the-top" that city is?! It's ridiculous! Everything is BIG! I don't think they know the word "moderation" or it's definition. I think they selectively weed that out of their vocabulary! I spent 2 days eating, shopping, eating, walking, eating, talking, eating, gambling and eating! I felt like I ate enough for a month while I was there! I was ready to come home to NYC though. I had my fill of my parents and that place. Now dont' get me wrong by my previous comment. I miss and love my parents very much but ... DAYUM!!!! Sometimes you just gotta give it a REST!! The best word to describe my parents would be "doting". Goodness and are they EVER ... I don't think I got a moment to myself once! Except on the last night when I told my parents I was going to bed and then when my sister and I got to our room and I finalized all of my packing; I told her that I wanted to be alone and I went down to the casino (to lose more money) and to have some ME time. Speaking of LOSING MONEY hahahahahaha goodness I am soooo bitter with my sister and mom! I was up $50 on the nickel slots when they decided to drag me over to a quarter slot and lose my $50!!!! On top of losing my $50 ... we each pitched an extra $20 for a grand total of $110 that the quarter slot ate up! I was soooo pissed! Then the next day while we were at the Wynn Hotel, I was up $30 and then AGAIN they drug me over to the damn quarter slot and we proceeded to lose my $30 plus we each put in $30 on top of that for a total of $120 lost at THAT quarter slot! I was soooo angry!!!!! I could have won $80!!!!!!! But nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! No more quarter slots for me. .. it's just ridiculous! Couldn't they see that I was WINNING and that they were LOSING the first time around?! Why did they have to try it a SECOND time?! Ugh .... then of course when I was down in the casino by lonesome I was absolutely determined to win back my lost $50 so I played on the slots. At first I lost $60 (yikes!) but then I won it all back at this one slot and I thought that maybe I could win some more but alas no .... I lose $40 more dollars and would have lost the last $20 if my brain hadn't kicked in and told me to STOP! In the naaame of looooooveee! Hahahahaha LOL jk ... anyways ... so I lost $40 by myself on top fo the $50 for a total of $90 that I was definitely NOT intending on losing ... but I guess that's what greed will do to ya huh?
So I'm going to talk about a really, really girly topic here: Have ya'll ever gotten vaginal discharge that is clear and goopy kind of egg-white like? Well I have and am ... and I've gotten it on many occassions in the past and have always wondered what it was. I meant to do research on it sooner but have continually forgotten as nothing terrible has come of it except for extra laundry. Whatever. So I finally looked it up online and turns out that this "goopy" stuff is actually called Cervical Mucus, I know it sounds gross right? But it's actually quite important and closely linked with your estrus cycle. When you get that thick, egg-white like, goopy stuff is when you are "most fertile" according to the experts. The reason for this is the release of the hormone progesterone after you ovulate causes this abrupt change in the mucus structure. The mucus acts as a cervical protection/lubricant and is also a sort of natural "sperm bank". It keeps sperm alive for several days (or atleast the ones that are strong enough to make through the mucus, those that can't get trapped in the vaginal canal and are killed by the acidity of the vagina. This is also a sort of natural selector for the strongest sperm, equating to the best genes for your offspring, women are so awesome! Even if we're not on a conscious level purposely thinking of the best for our offspring, our body is naturally taking steps towards it. We are so perfectly engineered!). Immediately following ovulation (release of an ovum) is when we are most fertile because the egg can only be fertilized 12-48 hours post release from the ovary before it begins to degrade. So it's a natural alert from our body (if you want to get pregnant) that it's most fertile and capable of conception, it literally is a biological clock. You may notice that generally during this time is when you are most "horny" but at the same time you might be so grossed out that you don't want your partner to see this that women don't end up having sex during this period, which may account for why it's sometimes more difficult for some women to get pregnant. I have NO intentions of getting pregnant AT ALL, but in case someone really wants to know ... hopefully this information will help you out. Additionally for those women out there who are having unprotected sex, if you have no intention of becoming pregnant and are also NOT on the pill it may be best to avoid sex during this time as during this Cervical Mucus production stage is when you have the highest chance of becoming pregnant. Generally 2 weeks after you see the production of this cervical mucus is when you will start your period or menstrual cycle. All right ... that's enough for me! *^_~* Catch ya'll soon!
Ronny & Scooter say "Hiiiii!"
So I'm going to talk about a really, really girly topic here: Have ya'll ever gotten vaginal discharge that is clear and goopy kind of egg-white like? Well I have and am ... and I've gotten it on many occassions in the past and have always wondered what it was. I meant to do research on it sooner but have continually forgotten as nothing terrible has come of it except for extra laundry. Whatever. So I finally looked it up online and turns out that this "goopy" stuff is actually called Cervical Mucus, I know it sounds gross right? But it's actually quite important and closely linked with your estrus cycle. When you get that thick, egg-white like, goopy stuff is when you are "most fertile" according to the experts. The reason for this is the release of the hormone progesterone after you ovulate causes this abrupt change in the mucus structure. The mucus acts as a cervical protection/lubricant and is also a sort of natural "sperm bank". It keeps sperm alive for several days (or atleast the ones that are strong enough to make through the mucus, those that can't get trapped in the vaginal canal and are killed by the acidity of the vagina. This is also a sort of natural selector for the strongest sperm, equating to the best genes for your offspring, women are so awesome! Even if we're not on a conscious level purposely thinking of the best for our offspring, our body is naturally taking steps towards it. We are so perfectly engineered!). Immediately following ovulation (release of an ovum) is when we are most fertile because the egg can only be fertilized 12-48 hours post release from the ovary before it begins to degrade. So it's a natural alert from our body (if you want to get pregnant) that it's most fertile and capable of conception, it literally is a biological clock. You may notice that generally during this time is when you are most "horny" but at the same time you might be so grossed out that you don't want your partner to see this that women don't end up having sex during this period, which may account for why it's sometimes more difficult for some women to get pregnant. I have NO intentions of getting pregnant AT ALL, but in case someone really wants to know ... hopefully this information will help you out. Additionally for those women out there who are having unprotected sex, if you have no intention of becoming pregnant and are also NOT on the pill it may be best to avoid sex during this time as during this Cervical Mucus production stage is when you have the highest chance of becoming pregnant. Generally 2 weeks after you see the production of this cervical mucus is when you will start your period or menstrual cycle. All right ... that's enough for me! *^_~* Catch ya'll soon!
Ronny & Scooter say "Hiiiii!"
Friday, January 18, 2008
I Miss ...
CALIFORNIAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I keep torturing myself by looking at pictures of people, friends, & family that still live in California ... and/or pictures of myself when I LIVED in california and I really miss (this is going to sound REALLY superficial but I don't care because it's relevant to my happiness and therefore my quality of life!) being tan and skinny! Not that I'm not skinny now, but I used to go to the gym far more often (24hour fitness only cost me $31/month versus Equinox's $150/month!) without breaking my bank ... which is another reason why I canceled my Equinox membership, it's totally UNAFFORDABLE! I was in shape and I was tan and I looked really good! Even one of my co-workers commented on that! She walks by my desk at work and sees my Facebook profile picture and is like "whoa! Is that YOU?! You look so different!" Argh! I KNOW THAT! Ever since I moved to the East Coast ... i've been consistently colorless and white as a ghost and without a gym membership or even when I had one, I had a very busy schedule (which prevented me from getting to the gym) I'm soft as clay! It's disgusting! I miss being tan and fit! It's soooooo superficial but it's sooooo true and I can't help but admit it! I feel like a white blob now ... actually I should be grateful that i'm not FAT. The GOOD LORD promised that whatever I asked would come to pass in his precious name and believe you me ... I asked to have an excellent working metabolism that would keep me skinny or exactly the way I currently am no matter what happened and to date all of that has happened so I'm going to stop speaking horrible things, that I DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN TO ME, into existence. Ok ... I just had to vent ... back to work for me ... hehehehehehehehehehehehe *^_^*
I keep torturing myself by looking at pictures of people, friends, & family that still live in California ... and/or pictures of myself when I LIVED in california and I really miss (this is going to sound REALLY superficial but I don't care because it's relevant to my happiness and therefore my quality of life!) being tan and skinny! Not that I'm not skinny now, but I used to go to the gym far more often (24hour fitness only cost me $31/month versus Equinox's $150/month!) without breaking my bank ... which is another reason why I canceled my Equinox membership, it's totally UNAFFORDABLE! I was in shape and I was tan and I looked really good! Even one of my co-workers commented on that! She walks by my desk at work and sees my Facebook profile picture and is like "whoa! Is that YOU?! You look so different!" Argh! I KNOW THAT! Ever since I moved to the East Coast ... i've been consistently colorless and white as a ghost and without a gym membership or even when I had one, I had a very busy schedule (which prevented me from getting to the gym) I'm soft as clay! It's disgusting! I miss being tan and fit! It's soooooo superficial but it's sooooo true and I can't help but admit it! I feel like a white blob now ... actually I should be grateful that i'm not FAT. The GOOD LORD promised that whatever I asked would come to pass in his precious name and believe you me ... I asked to have an excellent working metabolism that would keep me skinny or exactly the way I currently am no matter what happened and to date all of that has happened so I'm going to stop speaking horrible things, that I DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN TO ME, into existence. Ok ... I just had to vent ... back to work for me ... hehehehehehehehehehehehe *^_^*
Monday, January 14, 2008
Slimming Tea Runs
Yikes! So I was drinking the slimming tea for 7 days ... I figured out how it keeps you slim! It gives you diarrhea! Naturally, if you eat and your body just passes out the food instantly, then your body won't have time to absorb the fats that are associated with the food. This sounds fantastic doesn't it? It's almost like "Akavar's outrageous claim to EAT ALL YOU WANT AND STILL LOSE WEIGHT!"
But think about the whole picture! If your body is passing the food out so quickly that your not absorbing the fats ... chances are, you're also not absorbing any of the nutrients associated with the foods either. There is no magical weight loss program and all of these fad diets are just bad news. True, drinking Oolong tea (or any tea for that matter) will help speed up your metabolism (it's got caffeine people, think!) but that is definitely not a substitute for exercise. So my boyfriend and I took up some cardio exercise again after being sedentary for the last 2 months and hoping that the slimming tea would be my saving grace! We ran 2.5 miles! Sheesh! I am feeling the effects of lack of exercise trust me! But I feel better about myself than drinking that slimming tea.
All of these things; the lemonade diet, slimming tea, atkins ... all of these things are just bandaids! They aren't meant to be long term solutions, they never were. People just keep hoping that they will be and use them as crutches because they're lazy! The slimming tea thing was horrible too! I mean the day I decided that the tea wasn't going to work for me was last Wednesday. I was trying to get home after work. Before I left work, I felt a rumbling in my stomach and I was like "maybe it's gas!" Well, I take the express train home and it's only a 20-30minute ride and I had to jump out at Grand Central to look for a restroom because I couldn't hold it anymore! Isn't that crazy?! Then after I got out at my stop I was 2 blocks from my house when I was hit with another "runs" attack and had to run into MEETH to use their restroom b/c I couldn't make it back to my apartment without squirting my pants! It was soooooo embarrassing, let me tell you! Thankfully my boyf is a very understanding and non-judgmental person! Believe me, I have absolutely NO INTENTIONS of making running to the bathroom on a regular basis part of my daily activity. And no, running to the bathroom does NOT count as exercise! So I experimented ... and from my experiences if anyone manages to stumble across my blog hoping to find some help while they're trying to decide whether or not they should do the slimming tea diet ... my best answer is ... NO! Drink tea regularly, it's good for you ... don't drink the tea that has the words "slimming", "ultra slim", "super slim" or any of the like. If you want to use it as a natural diuretic or as a stool softener b/c you're constipated it maybe a gentler more natural way to go ... but to use it as a weight loss supplement. I would not recommend it unless you enjoy stressing your body "running" for the restroom.
But think about the whole picture! If your body is passing the food out so quickly that your not absorbing the fats ... chances are, you're also not absorbing any of the nutrients associated with the foods either. There is no magical weight loss program and all of these fad diets are just bad news. True, drinking Oolong tea (or any tea for that matter) will help speed up your metabolism (it's got caffeine people, think!) but that is definitely not a substitute for exercise. So my boyfriend and I took up some cardio exercise again after being sedentary for the last 2 months and hoping that the slimming tea would be my saving grace! We ran 2.5 miles! Sheesh! I am feeling the effects of lack of exercise trust me! But I feel better about myself than drinking that slimming tea.
All of these things; the lemonade diet, slimming tea, atkins ... all of these things are just bandaids! They aren't meant to be long term solutions, they never were. People just keep hoping that they will be and use them as crutches because they're lazy! The slimming tea thing was horrible too! I mean the day I decided that the tea wasn't going to work for me was last Wednesday. I was trying to get home after work. Before I left work, I felt a rumbling in my stomach and I was like "maybe it's gas!" Well, I take the express train home and it's only a 20-30minute ride and I had to jump out at Grand Central to look for a restroom because I couldn't hold it anymore! Isn't that crazy?! Then after I got out at my stop I was 2 blocks from my house when I was hit with another "runs" attack and had to run into MEETH to use their restroom b/c I couldn't make it back to my apartment without squirting my pants! It was soooooo embarrassing, let me tell you! Thankfully my boyf is a very understanding and non-judgmental person! Believe me, I have absolutely NO INTENTIONS of making running to the bathroom on a regular basis part of my daily activity. And no, running to the bathroom does NOT count as exercise! So I experimented ... and from my experiences if anyone manages to stumble across my blog hoping to find some help while they're trying to decide whether or not they should do the slimming tea diet ... my best answer is ... NO! Drink tea regularly, it's good for you ... don't drink the tea that has the words "slimming", "ultra slim", "super slim" or any of the like. If you want to use it as a natural diuretic or as a stool softener b/c you're constipated it maybe a gentler more natural way to go ... but to use it as a weight loss supplement. I would not recommend it unless you enjoy stressing your body "running" for the restroom.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Squish, squish ...
OMG I am getting sooooo soft! It's horrible ... so I wanted to start blogging on my decision to start drinking this Oolong slimming tea thing. Apparently, it's supposed to be rather good for you ... so I thought I would give it a shot ... so far no real difference but maybe it's due to my refusal to adhere to the "no-eating-after-7:30pm" rule. It's not really realistic in NYC! My injury to my back has been rather crippling ... but I think that I might be milking the whole "I-don't-want-to-work-out" thing too long and am using the backpain as an excuse. On the bright side though, surprisingly I haven't really gained any weight. I think it's also partly due to my cognizant effort to be more careful about what I eat especially since I'm not currently working out but I am starting to feel like a pudgeball and that may also be partly due to my period beginning to kick back in again ... I usually feel my thinnest post period and my pudgiest pre-period. Not rocket science. Additionally, I think I can cure myself of this debilitating injury if I just start working out again ... my back almost always seems to feel better when I'm more active versus when I'm just being plain lazy. But it's winter and it's cold ... which makes it difficult. That's why I loved living in california, you couldn't use the weather as an excuse for being lazy.
Well, I'm excited b/c tonight i'm taking my boys (Ronny and Scooter) to a Biscuits and Bath playdate with Monica and her girls (Casey Jane and Missy Paulette) and Lourdes and her boys (Munchie and Tuffy). I didn't realize all 3 of us (we're all PfP'ers - or better known as Plans for Pups members) had 2 dogs each. I feel like 2 dogs is best because they can keep eachother company while the human is away. Monica, is the co-organizer for Plans for Pups and she started another group called We Own Westies, aka WOW! LOL, it's a cute name. Lourdes is with PfP and it's her family member (Marisol Velez) who previously owned Scooter (fka - John Paul or JP). Now this woman, Marisol, is giving away her Jack Russell terrier, Julius, as well. Thankfully, one of my co-workers at 65B and her boyfriend want to adopt a dog and fell in love with Julius' mug shots and are going to PA this weekend to go pick him up. Maybe I can get Julius and Scooter to re-unite, as I'm sure they still will remember each other. Well i'm going to go home now ... and get off from work .... as this is what I do at work, blog. Pathetic, I know.
Well, I'm excited b/c tonight i'm taking my boys (Ronny and Scooter) to a Biscuits and Bath playdate with Monica and her girls (Casey Jane and Missy Paulette) and Lourdes and her boys (Munchie and Tuffy). I didn't realize all 3 of us (we're all PfP'ers - or better known as Plans for Pups members) had 2 dogs each. I feel like 2 dogs is best because they can keep eachother company while the human is away. Monica, is the co-organizer for Plans for Pups and she started another group called We Own Westies, aka WOW! LOL, it's a cute name. Lourdes is with PfP and it's her family member (Marisol Velez) who previously owned Scooter (fka - John Paul or JP). Now this woman, Marisol, is giving away her Jack Russell terrier, Julius, as well. Thankfully, one of my co-workers at 65B and her boyfriend want to adopt a dog and fell in love with Julius' mug shots and are going to PA this weekend to go pick him up. Maybe I can get Julius and Scooter to re-unite, as I'm sure they still will remember each other. Well i'm going to go home now ... and get off from work .... as this is what I do at work, blog. Pathetic, I know.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I AM ME, WHO I WANT TO BE [POEM]
I just want, want so much, so many things,
Have so many plans, plans and dreams,
So many thoughts, thoughts inside my head,
Of how I'll do this, this and that and then,
I stop.
I contemplate, delegate, and almost always complicate,
I'm here, I'm there, I'm resolute and unafraid,
I'm unabashed and determined, I have to understand,
Understand what drives me to be who I am,
It's inherent, in my blood, it's the propelling reason,
It's there, always, constantly pushing, it's fervent,
I'm looking, researching, and finally realizing,
Realizing my being, my existence materializing,
and then I stop.
I listen, I tell myself, you've got to listen,
There's more on the line that you have to defend,
It's bigger than the car that you will never again see,
Bigger than my thoughts, regrets, values and beliefs,
Bigger than I dare reveal to myself, than I dare admit to,
So I compartmentalize and pretend just like a fool,
Foolish folly of mine, it's true,
But what can I do?
I am pride, I am foolish folly,
I am much more than these,
I am girl, I am strong and fierce,
I am me, who I want to be.
Have so many plans, plans and dreams,
So many thoughts, thoughts inside my head,
Of how I'll do this, this and that and then,
I stop.
I contemplate, delegate, and almost always complicate,
I'm here, I'm there, I'm resolute and unafraid,
I'm unabashed and determined, I have to understand,
Understand what drives me to be who I am,
It's inherent, in my blood, it's the propelling reason,
It's there, always, constantly pushing, it's fervent,
I'm looking, researching, and finally realizing,
Realizing my being, my existence materializing,
and then I stop.
I listen, I tell myself, you've got to listen,
There's more on the line that you have to defend,
It's bigger than the car that you will never again see,
Bigger than my thoughts, regrets, values and beliefs,
Bigger than I dare reveal to myself, than I dare admit to,
So I compartmentalize and pretend just like a fool,
Foolish folly of mine, it's true,
But what can I do?
I am pride, I am foolish folly,
I am much more than these,
I am girl, I am strong and fierce,
I am me, who I want to be.
Tick, tick, tick ...
It's only 3:50pm?! I feel like I have been here ALL DAY!!! All I do is sit at work, code some documents, look at my gmail account (for possibly a job offer or interview), look at my yahoo accounts (yes, that's TOTALLY plural! I have one for my friends, one for the crazies and one for the spammers of the world) and check my facebook account a record million times in ONE day!
I seem to always end up having jobs like this! With my last job before I moved to NYC, I mostly just sat around, answered a few emails and once in awhile traveled to LA or San Diego or NorCal for a case. But for the most part I spent my days sleeping in until 9am or 10am, getting to the gym around 10am or 11am and doing 45 minutes to an hour of cardio (depending on what time I went to bed the night before) and then another 45 minutes to an hour doing Yoga and I was getting paid a GREAT salary for it! I started thinking that this was too good to be true and that there was no doubt that my CEO would no doubt eventually notice my lack of productivity and eventually fire me for it. So when the opportunity came up for me to move to NYC I took it. I thought for sure the work would double or triple but I never expected it to compound exponentially the way it did! So now I'm working as a paralegal after having been burnt out ... got mixed up in a business proposition with my ex that I had no business dabbling in and now I'm paying for it with a low salary and a huge debt. Good job Sherry.
But, that's the problem ... I had it good it Cali ... I had it made so why did I go and screw it all up? Why did I have to decide that I wanted to have something more exciting and live in NYC? Couldn't I have been satisfied with what I had? If I had stayed in california ... life would be on cruise control for me. But then would I be here ... struggling ... building character? Learning how to be thrifty and not to take money for granted? Would I have Scooter? Would I be dating Putz? I feel like I'm at that same point again. My job is too easy ... should I switch it up and give myself something harder? But would I ruin everything again? I went to a 2nd interview at this company that I'd really love to work for, I would be a Project Administrator and they want me to go back for a 3rd interview! Unbelievable ... but if they pay me $60K/year ... I'll go back as many times as they want! LOL! I want to be a Project Administrator but I would settle for an Executive Assistant which is what Tsa does.
I had to evaluate this point. Tsa just graduated from USC this past summer (2006) and she's an Executive Assistant ... I've been graduated since 2002 and have A TON of experience in the medical field backing me up and I'm going to be an Executive Assistant? I need to pursue my MBA ... I want more but I feel like this stuff is so menial in comparison to my wanting to act, sing, and dance. But I have 2 pinched and misaligned vertebrae in my lumbar spinal area. Why? I need to be silent and listen to what God's plan for me is. He will lead me in the right direction. I keep praying for Corey to come through with Hench and for me to be Gina and that to blow up and then I'll be a celebrity like I want to be. I want to go on interviews, share my experiences with young, impressionable teens and adults. I want to be able to influence people to do better things, I want to volunteer for locks of love, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, be a spokesperson against drugs and smoking. I want to be an international ambassador ... I want to start a foundation for stray/abused/unwanted/dumped animals. I feel like Monica and I could provide a great service for many animals and find great, loving forever homes for these wonderful companions! I could have a music/entertainment company that would find talent and give people chances to artistically express themselves. So many plans to benefit so many people in the world. I know that's what I want to do. I have to believe God for it. I have to believe in Hench! That's my best chance at this rate ... I want to change the public perception of stick thin = beautiful. That's what drives so many young girls to eating disorders ... I want to have a magazine that doesn't have me on the cover of it every single month (boring!), that doesn't gossip, gossip, gossip! It should talk about more pertinent things and provide a section for readers to voice their opinions and constantly provide those who want to write the opportunity to do so and give them exposure to other publishers! So many big plans ...
I seem to always end up having jobs like this! With my last job before I moved to NYC, I mostly just sat around, answered a few emails and once in awhile traveled to LA or San Diego or NorCal for a case. But for the most part I spent my days sleeping in until 9am or 10am, getting to the gym around 10am or 11am and doing 45 minutes to an hour of cardio (depending on what time I went to bed the night before) and then another 45 minutes to an hour doing Yoga and I was getting paid a GREAT salary for it! I started thinking that this was too good to be true and that there was no doubt that my CEO would no doubt eventually notice my lack of productivity and eventually fire me for it. So when the opportunity came up for me to move to NYC I took it. I thought for sure the work would double or triple but I never expected it to compound exponentially the way it did! So now I'm working as a paralegal after having been burnt out ... got mixed up in a business proposition with my ex that I had no business dabbling in and now I'm paying for it with a low salary and a huge debt. Good job Sherry.
But, that's the problem ... I had it good it Cali ... I had it made so why did I go and screw it all up? Why did I have to decide that I wanted to have something more exciting and live in NYC? Couldn't I have been satisfied with what I had? If I had stayed in california ... life would be on cruise control for me. But then would I be here ... struggling ... building character? Learning how to be thrifty and not to take money for granted? Would I have Scooter? Would I be dating Putz? I feel like I'm at that same point again. My job is too easy ... should I switch it up and give myself something harder? But would I ruin everything again? I went to a 2nd interview at this company that I'd really love to work for, I would be a Project Administrator and they want me to go back for a 3rd interview! Unbelievable ... but if they pay me $60K/year ... I'll go back as many times as they want! LOL! I want to be a Project Administrator but I would settle for an Executive Assistant which is what Tsa does.
I had to evaluate this point. Tsa just graduated from USC this past summer (2006) and she's an Executive Assistant ... I've been graduated since 2002 and have A TON of experience in the medical field backing me up and I'm going to be an Executive Assistant? I need to pursue my MBA ... I want more but I feel like this stuff is so menial in comparison to my wanting to act, sing, and dance. But I have 2 pinched and misaligned vertebrae in my lumbar spinal area. Why? I need to be silent and listen to what God's plan for me is. He will lead me in the right direction. I keep praying for Corey to come through with Hench and for me to be Gina and that to blow up and then I'll be a celebrity like I want to be. I want to go on interviews, share my experiences with young, impressionable teens and adults. I want to be able to influence people to do better things, I want to volunteer for locks of love, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, be a spokesperson against drugs and smoking. I want to be an international ambassador ... I want to start a foundation for stray/abused/unwanted/dumped animals. I feel like Monica and I could provide a great service for many animals and find great, loving forever homes for these wonderful companions! I could have a music/entertainment company that would find talent and give people chances to artistically express themselves. So many plans to benefit so many people in the world. I know that's what I want to do. I have to believe God for it. I have to believe in Hench! That's my best chance at this rate ... I want to change the public perception of stick thin = beautiful. That's what drives so many young girls to eating disorders ... I want to have a magazine that doesn't have me on the cover of it every single month (boring!), that doesn't gossip, gossip, gossip! It should talk about more pertinent things and provide a section for readers to voice their opinions and constantly provide those who want to write the opportunity to do so and give them exposure to other publishers! So many big plans ...
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