Tick, tick, tick ...

It's only 3:50pm?! I feel like I have been here ALL DAY!!! All I do is sit at work, code some documents, look at my gmail account (for possibly a job offer or interview), look at my yahoo accounts (yes, that's TOTALLY plural! I have one for my friends, one for the crazies and one for the spammers of the world) and check my facebook account a record million times in ONE day!

I seem to always end up having jobs like this! With my last job before I moved to NYC, I mostly just sat around, answered a few emails and once in awhile traveled to LA or San Diego or NorCal for a case. But for the most part I spent my days sleeping in until 9am or 10am, getting to the gym around 10am or 11am and doing 45 minutes to an hour of cardio (depending on what time I went to bed the night before) and then another 45 minutes to an hour doing Yoga and I was getting paid a GREAT salary for it! I started thinking that this was too good to be true and that there was no doubt that my CEO would no doubt eventually notice my lack of productivity and eventually fire me for it. So when the opportunity came up for me to move to NYC I took it. I thought for sure the work would double or triple but I never expected it to compound exponentially the way it did! So now I'm working as a paralegal after having been burnt out ... got mixed up in a business proposition with my ex that I had no business dabbling in and now I'm paying for it with a low salary and a huge debt. Good job Sherry.

But, that's the problem ... I had it good it Cali ... I had it made so why did I go and screw it all up? Why did I have to decide that I wanted to have something more exciting and live in NYC? Couldn't I have been satisfied with what I had? If I had stayed in california ... life would be on cruise control for me. But then would I be here ... struggling ... building character? Learning how to be thrifty and not to take money for granted? Would I have Scooter? Would I be dating Putz? I feel like I'm at that same point again. My job is too easy ... should I switch it up and give myself something harder? But would I ruin everything again? I went to a 2nd interview at this company that I'd really love to work for, I would be a Project Administrator and they want me to go back for a 3rd interview! Unbelievable ... but if they pay me $60K/year ... I'll go back as many times as they want! LOL! I want to be a Project Administrator but I would settle for an Executive Assistant which is what Tsa does.

I had to evaluate this point. Tsa just graduated from USC this past summer (2006) and she's an Executive Assistant ... I've been graduated since 2002 and have A TON of experience in the medical field backing me up and I'm going to be an Executive Assistant? I need to pursue my MBA ... I want more but I feel like this stuff is so menial in comparison to my wanting to act, sing, and dance. But I have 2 pinched and misaligned vertebrae in my lumbar spinal area. Why? I need to be silent and listen to what God's plan for me is. He will lead me in the right direction. I keep praying for Corey to come through with Hench and for me to be Gina and that to blow up and then I'll be a celebrity like I want to be. I want to go on interviews, share my experiences with young, impressionable teens and adults. I want to be able to influence people to do better things, I want to volunteer for locks of love, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, be a spokesperson against drugs and smoking. I want to be an international ambassador ... I want to start a foundation for stray/abused/unwanted/dumped animals. I feel like Monica and I could provide a great service for many animals and find great, loving forever homes for these wonderful companions! I could have a music/entertainment company that would find talent and give people chances to artistically express themselves. So many plans to benefit so many people in the world. I know that's what I want to do. I have to believe God for it. I have to believe in Hench! That's my best chance at this rate ... I want to change the public perception of stick thin = beautiful. That's what drives so many young girls to eating disorders ... I want to have a magazine that doesn't have me on the cover of it every single month (boring!), that doesn't gossip, gossip, gossip! It should talk about more pertinent things and provide a section for readers to voice their opinions and constantly provide those who want to write the opportunity to do so and give them exposure to other publishers! So many big plans ...