I AM ME, WHO I WANT TO BE [POEM]

I just want, want so much, so many things,
Have so many plans, plans and dreams,
So many thoughts, thoughts inside my head,
Of how I'll do this, this and that and then,
I stop.
I contemplate, delegate, and almost always complicate,
I'm here, I'm there, I'm resolute and unafraid,
I'm unabashed and determined, I have to understand,
Understand what drives me to be who I am,
It's inherent, in my blood, it's the propelling reason,
It's there, always, constantly pushing, it's fervent,
I'm looking, researching, and finally realizing,
Realizing my being, my existence materializing,
and then I stop.
I listen, I tell myself, you've got to listen,
There's more on the line that you have to defend,
It's bigger than the car that you will never again see,
Bigger than my thoughts, regrets, values and beliefs,
Bigger than I dare reveal to myself, than I dare admit to,
So I compartmentalize and pretend just like a fool,
Foolish folly of mine, it's true,
But what can I do?
I am pride, I am foolish folly,
I am much more than these,
I am girl, I am strong and fierce,
I am me, who I want to be.